New Tool Review – Digmaster 9000

Well, here it is y’all. The Digmaster 9000.

What you see here is simply the greatest feat of engineering that the world has ever seen. The Digmaster 9000 is 1.21 Gigawatts of pure digging prowess.

I love this new tool, and so do a lot of people. I am a little upset that current vernacular would allude to the Digmaster as a “shovel”, which clearly is unfortunate, but I will have to excuse my language–no, my species–for not having evolved enough to be able to adequately describe this masterpiece. Here are a couple of reviews I read before I decided on the Digmaster 9000.

The Digmaster 9000 is the greatest thing since I sliced bread. -Jesus
The Digmaster 9000 is 1000 more than the 8000.-Tim Allen
Cocaine is a helluva drug.-Rick James

Simply put, I have never in my life had a tool as great as this one. But don’t take my word for it. Come over and try it out for yourself. Maybe remove a cubic yard or two. I promise you won’t be dissapointed. Tomorrow would be good.

One thought on “New Tool Review – Digmaster 9000

  1. 1 Emmet = 1.21 Gigawatts, or the amount of power required to operated the flux capacitor in a modified DeLorean DMC-12. When describing the Emmet, it’s pronounced ‘Jigga’ watt.

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